Where do you find socks?

I like the concept of this board. Perhaps I am more of a country/cottage/casual/cutesy woman than I would like to admit. My youngest daughter says that I am entirely too serious. She may have a point that I should consider. Is it as disconcerting for those that have a joking personality to try to communicate with me, as it is for me to communicate with them?

I do not care for silliness in adults. I can appreciate a good joke or even a lighthearted prank, but sophomoric behavior, in someone over thirty, tries my patience. I love some really silly people, but I can only be around them in short amounts of time.

I too, have "qualities" that are not very impressive to most people. My son says I think too fast and too far ahead. His interpretation of why I am aggravating to so many people, is that I have already come to a conclusion about things and I do not really let other people participate in the process. That may be why I love talking to people about whom I know nothing. I especially like to talk to folks who live in other parts of the world. I can not hurry the process of learning about another person's culture, I love asking questions, although sometimes the questions I ask are gaged as impertinent, even though I do not usually mean them to be.

I will cut this day's blog short because I have time scheduled with the grands! Tomorrow I am sure to have interesting insights from my grandson to share. Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

Unforgettable

http://www.youtube.com/embed/u0kYf9KG9QA   Oh how well Willie described it!

That is the short and the sweet of it right now folks. Until Later ~Rita Darlene

Aloo sala ?

I hope that I am not vain, but how would one gage that? That is a blog for another time.

The reason I mention it, is because I was at the nail salon, just finishing "the works" when I heard the most melodic voice. It was deep, gurgling and fresh. The pronunciation was unsurpassed by any voice to whom I have ever listened. If this voice was a body of water, people would take their shoes off and dip their toes, some might even consider skinny-dipping. Me being me, I had to ask if this voice was in radio. The response was a negative, but I would not leave it alone. This voice should be heard. So I said to the voice ... "go to dogoodmedia.com and tell Steven Schneitman that his mother said to use you for radio."  The voice's cousin responded that the voice is not from here.

This began a lovely interchange between three people that would probably have never known of each other in the courses of our lives. The voice lives in London, and the cousin recently moved to Jacksonville, from the Baltimore area. We spoke of many subjects that I do not engage in on a daily basis. It was such a pleasant half hour, that I long to have another chance encounter. It reminds me of the line from a poem by Warsan Shire  "...we are all slightly ruined by the things we have grazed against..." .  I know that I will always be gaging the voices I hear, against the beautiful one from the afternoon of April 14, 2014.
Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

It Is Monday, April 14, 2014

For those of us in the USA, tomorrow is the deadline to file our income tax reports and send our payments to Uncle Sam. For several years, I worked for H & R Block and I really did not like the feel of the office in April. The clients that had businesses and came to us every year, knew to get their stuff in early, as soon as their payroll reports were ready. But along with the good, there was always the new, demanding, and impatient clients that brought in bags of stuff on April 14th, expecting not only for us to go through it all and prepare a return, but to do it for a nominal fee. Most of the time their expectations were squashed.

Last night was the Passover service. Each year I renew the vow I made to God at my baptism, as I  partake of the body and blood of Christ as symbolized by the bread and wine. I follow my savior's example in the humble act of foot washing and am overwhelmed by the love that is exchanged during that ritual.

This year, I was very disappointed in my personal preparation for the Passover service. I am relating more to those aggravating, last minute tax clients, than the fully prepared ones that start their work early. I can be joyful in the knowledge, that the Christ is my intercessor with the Father, and that He loves me so much, that He gave His life for me.

I did quite a bit of scripture reading, while sitting quietly, waiting for the sundown service to begin. As I was reading Psalm 119, I realized that the author loved God's laws. The writer, (probably King David) made the commandments, statutes, and judgments his or her contemplation and meditation continually. I know that I have not made that my practice, but I plan to do better. 
Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

The Worm

When I was a kid, I heard every few weeks that the early bird got the worm. I am a morning person, but I do not know whether I was born that way or it was instilled in me. As I write this it is not yet five in the morning and I have been awake long enough to read some and listen to music and have an argument with myself about procrastination.

Procrastination is a trait that I put off until after I turned thirty. It came along about the time maturity peeked her head around the corned and said "BOO!" It started in small ways, like not giving my phone number the first time a guy asked for it and actually taking the time to price car insurance. I waited to do things, that in my youth, I would have done immediately. For example in my youth I would have already made my decision about where to spend my fall get away and I would have already paid for my reservations.

Now I am lingering over the choices, wondering about the best way to spend my money. Should I go and see something I have never explored or go somewhere familiar which can be more relaxing. My thoughts naturally return to the last time I enjoyed the familiar and I once again find my eyes getting watery. I miss my Billyboy. Fifteen out of the last seventeen years, in September or October, I spent nine days to a month, getting away from it all with my late husband. The planning was fun, the packing sometimes frantic, but the best and worst parts were shared, and bounced off of each other years afterward.

Over the years we went quite a few places. Our first destination was to Indian Rocks Beach, we were still newlyweds and still getting to know each other, it was not our best get away. Pigeon Forge, the next year, was spent with my family in a huge house with terrible plumbing. In 1999 we went to Canada, in the Niagara Falls region, we stayed at a B&B in St Catherines. That was a wonderful experience that truly gave me an appreciation of hospitality done right. We went to Panama City Beach a couple of years in a row and relaxed, sharing time and accommodations with friends.

In 2002 we went to the west coast for a month, staying in San Francisco a couple of days and then driving to Medford, Oregon and staying there a few days, seeing Crater Lake and eating huckleberry pie for the first time. From there we drove to Florence, a great little coastal town, home to the Blue Hen Restaurant where we took breakfast several times during our nine days there. We drove to Portland twice, to pick up my son's girlfriend and return her to the airport. So many great things were experienced on that trip, that it will be hard to top it in my mind, but each year was wonderful.

Panama City Beach, again for a couple of years, then Myrtle Beach. Our getaway to Sunset Beach, NC was spent with some friends that had been part of our lives since 1970. It was fun and relaxing. In 2009 we went to Jamaica with my son and the girl with whom we had been to Portland, only now they were married with children. Our time in Montego Bay was perfect, but getting home was one of the horror stories that we chuckled about later. Bill was one for repeating that tragedy plus time equals comedy.  This picture to the right was on our trip to Jamaica. We made some great friends, the Dookies and the Soos.

I think we went back to PCB in 2010, I really can not remember. October, 2011 in New Braunfels, Texas was vey memorable and really wonderful. My siblings and two of my children were on this trip, as were my parents. My sister and I got to spend a lot of time with our parents, and my brother got time with is future in-laws. My husband and my dad were best friends and it was a lovely eleven days that we spent together.  We all celebrated my parents 50th wedding anniversary on our last day there.   

PCB in 2012 was also a excellent getaway. My daughter and her family were with us. It was great to see our grandson get to go to the beach each morning with his daddy. That place that we rented was probably the best accommodations we ever booked for the fall. I hope to go back there again sometime. My friend Mary Butler took this picture of Bill and I one afternoon, before we went to dinner.

Palm Harbor, Florida, September 2013, the last getaway with my sweet husband and the first one that we did not have any arguments at all. The resort was beautiful, time with family and friends was enjoyable. We had some great meals and a few dances together. Billy woke with a bad headache on our last full day there and was gone before he could even taste the breakfast I had gotten up early to make.

Lingering can be ok sometimes. Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

Fools are NOT limited to April.

It has been just over twenty years since my maternal grandmother died. My youngest daughter was just two weeks old when it happened and I remember that I was awakened from a much needed nap to receive the news. The date was April 1, 1994. Less than a month earlier I had turned 31. Less than a month following, I would throw in the towel on my third marriage.

When I think about my grandmother (that was what I was instructed to call her, "Grandmother"), I remember a woman that had a great deal of determination and a bit too much self pity. My maternal grandparents were married well over fifty years, I think closer to fifty-five years. In the thirty-one years I witnessed, they did not like each other. They put up with each other to go visit the "kids and grand kids."  They tolerated each other, to attend church together at different intervals during my lifetime. Individually, they seemed to enjoy life, but I never felt comfortable around the two of them together. I can not ever recall a time that my grandmother did not complain about my grandfather during a conversation. She did not respect her husband. Her example of "sticking it out" in marriage, helped me determine that I had to divorce.

During the time I was a bartender at a neighborhood "watering hole," I watched multiple marriages crumble, and I saw hundreds that were successful. The successful marriages had a few things in common. The husband loved his wife and smiled when she approached or when he spoke of her, and though he drank a drink or two, he was not an alcoholic. The wife knew her husband and trusted him and respected his decision to end his work day with a beer or mixed drink, before heading home. In the case of some of the older folks they would come in together or meet each other at "cocktail hour."  One couple, I remember vividly, did not drink alcohol at all, but three times a week they would meet their friends and chat over a glass of tonic and lime.

I believe in love. Though I do not believe one person's love will make a marriage successful, I have seen marriages last with only one of the spouses able to put forth any effort of loving the other. A friend of mine that has never married, told me a few weeks ago that his grandfather gave him advice to marry a woman that loved him, because if he married a woman he loved, she could break his heart. This is sad advice in my way of thinking. To my knowledge, everyone wants to be loved.

Interestingly, the Bible instructs husbands to love their wives and instructs wives to respect their husbands. Could it be that if a wife respects her husband, love will follow? Perhaps, if a husband loves his wife, as he loves himself, they will have a successful marriage. It is certainly something I want my youngest daughter to consider before she walks down the aisle. Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

Cover Letter

I have a feeling that I may have to start my own business again. I have not ever written a cover letter for a resume. When I was encouraged by a friend to apply for a management position at Massage Envy (my second favorite place in the world) a cover letter was required. This was my off the cuff response. Until my manager daughter told me people would appreciate a more professional approach, I was really having fun.

I have been managing people and situations since my sister appeared one year and one day after I was born. I did the normal entrepreneurial things in my tween years, babysitting (psychology 101), window washing (attention to sun management) and throwing a weekly community paper. At twelve I was working four hours per day for Chick Fil A, where I handled money and customers with perfection. Other food service jobs followed, until I reached my majority and moved in to bar management.
After my second marriage ended, I decided the only person I could count on was me, and started a home and office cleaning service. I did everything from sales to quality control (every time I come from the ladies to the front door at ME Ortega, I assist your fine staff by cleaning finger prints off the glass with the paper towel from my hand washing.)
I was hired by one of my clients to be his wife's assistant in running the administrative aspects of their varied businesses. After a couple of years I was made his second in command and basically ran everything while they traveled. In that position I managed an in house finance company for his used car dealership, a small advertising business, and the billing, customer service and collections for his other companies. I hired and trained the other office staff. I was trusted with check writing ability, single signature, up to 300K.  I worked for him seven years and was compensated well. I left due to a family crisis which required me to move to Live Oak, FL.
In Live Oak, I brought a family owned business in to the "computer age." 

I quit writing the cover letter because I felt sad that I could not be my normal smart aleck self and expect an interview. Besides this letter only covered from 1964 to 1996. When I started thinking about 1996 to the present, I really felt like an underachiever. Until Later ~ Rita Darlene  

PS: I just realized I have not been posting a song of the day. www.youtube.com/embed/pHzAVDg4m1Q

Making Friends

Gabe is a self deprecating, cheerful, loveable loony tune that my youngest daughter works with at a local grocery store. Since meeting him about four years ago, he has always made me smile. On the last day of March, he turned twenty-two and just last night some folks got together to acknowledge his place in their lives.

My daughter and I sat in an Orange Park wings joint, with about twenty other people that I had never before met. When we arrived, Gabe and Frank were sitting at a long string of metal tables, empty except for the aftermath of a previous chain smoking customer. Gabe's dad and brother were off to the side, trying to determine when they would leave. People came in small groups, and as they were added to the larger group I tried to get their stories and their affiliation with Gabe.

Frank was apparently the guy that Gabe could count on to always be there. They have been friends since Gabe offered to share his lunch with Frank after a high school band class. There were four women in attendance, including myself, that were old enough to be his mother. One with whom Gabe worked at McDonald's, had her husband and beautiful miracle daughter in tow. I am not sure whether Kim and Lori, (customers from the grocery store) have daughters Gabe's age or not. I was impressed that he inspired them to travel fifteen miles to come eat wings, with people they did not know. A couple that work with Gabe at the store did come visit for a while. Ashley works in the bakery and takes credit for having gotten my daughter and her boyfriend together. Talbot works up front with Gabe and my daughter  and does not care to be called "Talbert."

My children will attest that I sometimes make things awkward by the stories I tell and/or the questions I ask. That happened last night and I embarrassed my baby girl, leaving her feeling as uncomfortable as I had felt at the beginning. It was an interesting evening and I hope that Gabe was happy with his friends, family, and food. I can only hope that he understands at twenty-two, that his "crew" may be a rag tag bunch, but we all care. Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

SAM is Helpful

SAM     SAM    SAM   SAM  SAM ! The last few weeks and especially the last few days and nights have been all about SAM. Most of my thoughts right now are about SAM. Some people wish my preoccupation with SAM would end, but I need SAM. SAM helps me be a better person. SAM helps me know myself better. SAM helps me to get a grip on where I have been, and where I want to go. SAM encourages me to love and help others as much as I have the capacity to do.  I can not say truthfully, that I love SAM yet, but I want to love SAM.

SAM can be painful and SAM can be pure  joy. Sometimes I cry because I can not have what I want, sometimes I smile because I have discovered something wonderful. SAM will not let me do the crazy things that sometimes pop into my head. Everything must be calculated. Are the plans I would make really beneficial or would they be a waste of precious time and resources? SAM allows for doing things to help others, even encourages it really. SAM has lead me to believe that time with family is so important. If I am going to be completely honest SAM is the reason I write this blog.

Self Analysis Mode.    Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

WOW! A FAN

I got a phone call from someone that asked why I did not post a "bit" a couple of days this week. It was amazing to me that this little blog was missed. It took me a while to realize that the person was expecting my report on life. I had made my commitment in black and white, to write this blog each day, so could she count on it or not?

I know the person was concerned that the lack of a post,  might have been an indicator that I was ill or had some other difficulty, but the question was a great one. Why had I not posted my thoughts those days? The answers are long and complicated when one begins to make excuses. The answers are short, and if not sweet, then at least easier, when one tells the truth. The thoughts consuming me those days were not fit to share with anyone. God knows them, if God chooses to know them. If I had a stalker, the stalker might have had a hint of what was eating at me, but I was not about to share it here.

I was not planning a murder. My thoughts were not about a bank heist. I was not trying to seduce a friend's husband. I was not trying to come up with ways to cheat on my taxes. I was not plotting the abuse of my parents. My thoughts were not evil, and yet, neither were they pure. The lack of bad does not mean one is good.

At this time of year, I, and most of my friends, do a thorough self examination, a spring cleaning of the mind and soul, so to speak. The analysis helps us determine what to keep doing, and what parts of our life we want to purge. It is about progress, moving forward toward our goals, leaving the old ways, that are an impediment to those goals behind, and building new habits that will strengthen us for this endurance race called life. In my "self," I found quite a bit of stagnation. (Kids, stagnation is what happens when the flow is lacking, whether it is water in a pipe or pond, or air in a room or car. Or, as in DD's case, the spirit in my soul.)

Because of the intense self searching of my heart and mind, I can warn you that the next few posts may come across as preachy or self absorbed. I could hope that I would be in a constant state of "self" correction, but my experience tells me in a few weeks, I will be back to "normal."
Until Later ~ Rita Darlene

Personal Worth

For the last seventeen years of my life I have been committed to one man. My husband read his Bible every day and he prayed for strength to be a good and faithful husband. Many times his will was tested. Sometimes I was not the encouraging wife that I should have been. Occasionally, because a woman would fancy him, he would have the choice of whether to keep his vow to me. I believe that he was tempted, but did not break. He was a man of strong loyalties. I loved him very much. We both valued our marriage and only his death separated us.

My husband was a worker, and I admired that quality in him. He wanted to make sure he provided a living for our family. His desire was to make enough money so that we always had a home, electricity, food, cars and vacations twice a year.

I was annoyed with my husband the day he bought me this lovely ring. He had been working so much, that we barely saw each other, and intimacy was at a low. When he purchased it, I initially thought it was one of his "pay-off " gifts that was supposed to calm the stormy waters of my having been angry. ( All I ever really wanted, beyond the security of our love for reach other, was more time together to wallow in it. Some uninterrupted moments of cuddling, was the brass ring to grasp.) Gifts do not erase the acts that bring anger. Remorse, was the only salve for the emotional wounds he could inflict, but that is another blog, for a different day. 

In an over dramatized presentation my husband read a scripture to me and placed this ring on my finger. It was a sign of his trust in me and a sweet gesture to show me, that I was his girl and he still  cared. It was not an expensive ring, but I could not put a price on it now.

Proverbs 31: 10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies, the heart of her husband safely trusts her.

Until Later ~ Rita Darlene